In the early 1980's, Tyco furnished a small device called the REM Syncopater, that very nearly resembled an answering machine of the era, a decade and a half before the introduction of voice mail. The device consisted of beige plastic and to be honest, looked less than fantastic and only slightly functional, with two buttons for play and pause along with a standard mechanical alarm clock that had been shrunk in size to accommodate the size of the casing. Perhaps because of its lackluster appearance, or due to a poor marketing and advertising campaign, the small machine collected dust on the shelves of independent toy stores, selling only to a handful of confused adults who were performing last minute shopping for their nephews, nieces, or godchildren.
However, the workings of the REM Syncopater were based on a series of cassette tapes that had to be purchased individually for somewhere around the price of 9 to 12 dollars. After a brief perusal of the instructions, the user attached child-safe electrodes to their head just above the ears before preparing for sleep, and let the tape roll. The cassettes played on a loop, leaving it up to either the user's discretion to halt the progress of the "experience" or up to the settings of the miniaturized alarm clock. Ideally, the electrodes, which I reiterate were completely child-safe, allowed the user to stimulate dream-centers in the sleeping brain using crude manipulation of alpha, beta, and theta waves; leading the user down a path of programmed dreams based on the features of each cassette. Since this was indeed meant as a child's toy, the tapes were generally geared towards rather unimaginative explorations of cliche child themes, with dream programs for fighting dragons in a castle, or for sailing with famous pirates. The girl-orientated cassettes invovled tea parties with princesses and escapes into unicorn fields, and the rather ho-hum tape entitled "Own Your First Pony."
While the creative nature of the device may have been lacking, and furthermore, was completely forgotten with a halt in production due to the increasing popularity of early video games, there existed groups of scattered converts who professed that the REM Syncopater, in fact, worked like a dream. However, they were quick to profess also that the effects were not exactly exact nor even orientated towards the purported themes, but had nevertheless substantially augmented their nighttime experiences. One of the former users of the device, a psychologist who had played around with his child's version in a series of unofficial experiments, claimed that the electrodes touched off a series of phantom sensations in his body while he remained half-asleep, which were so powerful that he attributed the sensation to "flying amid dark fields of cherry trees, after dipping down from the clouds in order to alight on an impossibility." Invariably, he deduced, and quite correctly, that the unreliable nature of the cassettes was actually based in the manufacturer's purposive mislabeling of the contained experiences, which he verified at a later date using collections of Polar Adventure and World War Two Fighter Pilot. Each Polar Adventure tape was in fact geared towards the probability of a homosexual dream encounter, while World War Two Fighter Pilot involved the intricacies of a crack-house residency. He became of course, suitably and morally outraged, as any father of two would be.
And yet, Tyco's REM Syncopater lost the seed of its infamy and its questionable virtue as a piece of technology when in 2010, a series of ebay auctions granted the toy a somewhat new distinction as a desirable collector's item invoking themes and consideration of past retro fads such as Spin Art or the rather macabre Teddy Ruxpin. Among the new owners of the toy was a Finnish electronics engineer, who beyond being mechanically and electronically inclined, decided to overhaul the magnetic tapes in order to create a more desirable experience that was personally tailored to his own whims and fancies. Soon, he was traversing dreamscapes that involved having exquisite lunches with King George the II, sentencing Adolph Hitler to the gas chamber (as was his wish) and performing numerous series of deft sexual escapades that he kept secret from his wife of twelve years. It could be said that his modified Syncopater became the best thing to ever happen to him, and it was not strange for the man to down sleeping pills at odd hours if only because he had become so heavily invested in the experience.
As is often the case with the fantastical or at least unregulated, models of these toys inevitably became invested with political and business dimensions. After almost thirty years of relative obscurity, the designs and projected usages for Tyco's model were reviewed by curious companies and governments, who saw long-term potential for both profit, new forms of advertising, voting manipulations, and even education. The new design, produced by Apple in prototype quantities only (called the iDream) is entirely digital and no more obtrusive in physicality than a standard MP3 player. A database similar to the popular iTunes will be completed by the end of 2011's fourth fiscal quarter, allowing users to download dream experiences that vary from playing musical instruments in popular bands to single-handedly saving the world from nuclear catastrophe using psychic powers. These packets of sleep experiences will be available for around the price of a standard DVD.
Of course, there are those who venture that such a business model is only conducive to psychic manipulation, pointing out that there are sure to be implanted subliminal messagings that addict the user to the Apple brand experience of dream. One critic even pointed out that such a device could shake the moorings of social reality to the point where dreams become so realistic, or at least more desirable than standard waking reality, that people lose their investments in being human. Apple Public Relations issued the statement in response that they would be certain to manufacture a series of experiences that lent waking life a kind of normalcy, with grounding dreams and even dreams that make stagnant experiences seem joyous by comparison. "Currently, the state of dreaming constitutes an anarchy. We are poised, as were the frontiermen of old, to expand order along this vast territory, to further the cause and cooperation of civilization, and to have fun doing it."
Rumors circulated by Lulzsec indicated the existence of pirate programs, used for counter-capitalist purposes involving dissemination of poetic, artistic, and revolutionary dreams. Independent media groups have also supposedly cultivated a brand of dream that informs the user outside of models of corporate philosophy, experiences that in effect show the dreamer the value of creating sustainable gardening options for low-income communities residing in supermarket deserts, the meaning behind Bakunin's socialist revolutionary rhetoric, and even an experience that exposes the truth of various banking cartels and their roles in warfare throughout history. The dreams themselves could potentially be downloaded for free by interested parties from the internet. Also rumored is the existence of programing software that allows the user to cultivate their own dream experience, much in the manner of the Finnish engineer.
Government watchdog groups have already discussed the prospect of creating a legislative body used to control labeling of dream programs, along with keeping certain dream experiences from being possessed by minors. While discussed in the House of Representatives, the implementation of dream laws remains to be instituted, especially due to a new debate regarding the new distinction between licensed and created dreams versus the old biological and unregulated natural experiences. Howard Langston, Republican House Minority Leader, said in effect "We want to get our citizens on a program that will insure their cooperation as free and democratic people for the rest of their lives. The way I see it, there were too many problems with our father's and grandfather's dreams, which were experiences that could not be controlled nor safeguarded against unwarrented intrusions. While they may not have realized it, nature made them sick in a sense, while we are about to be safeguarded from the effects of chaotic sleep for generations to come."
Self-proclaimed maverick psychologist, Philip Togut, summed up his fears and hopes for the technology in an academic article printed by the Brache Institute for Jungian Analysis. "The root of the problem, as I see it, is that dreams are valuable albeit hallucinatory experiences that impart sustaining visions of archetypal knowledge as it is contained in humanity's collective unconscious. Dream manipulation, in a sense, is nothing new; we perform similar actions every time we turn on the television or go out to the movies. The question I want to ask is 'How is our knowledge of current technology that exhibits psychic manipulations going to translate to this new apparatus?' Will it help to save us, or will it damn us? Using parallels from the existence of television, I see the new movement into controlled psychic behavior as ultimately damning, noting that current news stories are cultivated to lend senses of passivity and fear to the minds of an over-stimulated mass of people, that every couple of minutes some large corporation without a sense of human decency or of psychological boundaries is releasing advertisements that have been conscientiously and immorally geared towards finding new ways to get consumers to spend their money. Did television producers and the owners of stations see potentiality in the existence of their now familiar technology? I think not, because otherwise we would already have television channels that gave people free college educations, paid for in part by the necessary evil of advertising. We would have stations that gave people information regulated to increasing their livelihood through the imparting of information necessary to trades and economic augmentation. We would see programs that investigated and informed us about the mysteries of the world around us, that would settle our fears and prejudices through programming about people from different parts of the globe, people with different values. And yet, where this dream technology is going, I can assure you, we don't necessarily want to be, as I am certain it will be at best a one-dimensional space that divests us of the mysteries of our nighttime travels while in effect filling our minds with nothing but psychic junk."
And yet, planned production on the iDream continues, bolstered by favorable stock market activity around the world. Steve Jobs released the following statement "I see a future of renewed intimacy between Apple consumers and our company. And in response to the flurry of criticism of our product, you can rest assured that the device will always feature an on/off switch."
gestalt temperament
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Report From The Council of Post Apocalyptic Psychiatry
Following is a report from the field by an anonymous researcher invested in the tenets and philosophy as drawn by the Council For Post Apocalyptic Psychiatry:
Take every devastated Sunday morning ruined by hangover or drug use that you have ever known, compile it as extended metaphor, and apply it to the spirit of the surviving populace's yearnings. It is evidenced foremost that we carry the themes of post-apocalyptic landscapes within our minds, sometimes conscious and raised to the interpretation of the world in the manner that a banner relates to surges of wind, sometimes pressed like shrapnel into the machinery of our subconscious. You can see evidence of hoarding instincts in the soft mercenary actions of deluded citizens of the former republic, just as you witness survival sickness in conscripted laborers living out their time within the shackles of bondage. Ideals and mercies are hard to come by in this strange world, with freedom and love remaining rare ribbons. For some reason, perhaps based in our biology, the inhabitants of this wasteland continue to abide by the absurdities of bygone ages mingled with an overarching compulsion to survive.
I met the family at a reconstructed house by the shipyards, where the ballistic missiles had plummeted into harbor cranes and oil tankers in order to cripple trade. I could tell immediately that there was something peculiar in the house itself, for it had been constructed along pre-war lines that denoted former values of symmetry in architecture and proficiency in labor. But yet it had been made from debris, with its porch constructed out of a dissected shipping container and it's sidings evidencing the use of yacht hulls. A woman in a cocktail dress waved politely from the porch, beckoning me to come in. This was, as a formality, rare and charming, given the propensity of other survivors to behave with apathy or thinly veiled homicidal impulses. I followed her motion, curious.
"I want to show you what we have been doing," she said, as I followed her into the house. I was immediately overwhelmed by symbols of great wealth in the post-apocalyptic era, things such as functioning clocks, a door that led to a well-stocked kitchen, and electricity provided by an actual working generator. "We have, in our way, been rebuilding the world here." She gave me a relieved look when I smiled, than proceeded to act coy. "Of course, we have been ridding ourselves of unnecessary things as well."
I met her husband Mark and her child Logan. They struck me as oddly vulnerable, open in conversation and distanced from the verve of ruin and struggle. Mark claimed that he had indispensable knowledge of engineering and architecture, for he was old enough to have been among the last wave of graduating students from the former trade schools. He said he had spent five years on the house, with his only defense of the land being redistributed signs that claimed dangerous levels of radiation were in the area. He told me that fortunately, they had used clean bombs only on the area, and that the crater the house straddled ended up serving as a suitable basement.
They treated me to a banquet of vegetables and fresh fruit, which had been harvested from the woman's (Teresa) multiple gardens spread across the region. I had not tasted crisper apples in my pre-war days, and felt eternally grateful and indebted to them. I reached into my rucksack to offer canned green beans in exchange for the favor, which they surprisingly declined, saying that they were fortunate and understood where others weren't.
As our discussions ranged from the scattered attempts of the old government to reconstruct itself, our talk eventually fell on the subject of belief and religion. Teresa had been scavenging at the former university archives nearly two miles inland, and had much to say on the topic as pertaining to biochemistry.
As a disciple of the Council of Post Apocalyptic Psychiatry, I was invariably intrigued and considered it my good fortune to be able to benefit from her dissemination of knowledge.
"Dopamine," she said "was an often maligned and abused biochemical. It was insubstantially linked to socially undesirable behavior occurring among the alienated and misunderstood, for whom there was no outlet of sublimation of desires existent in capitalist society. They possessed dopamine, just like you and me, which nearly half of the brain maintains as a neurotransmitter that is actually responsible for such things as learning and belief."
"These poor people were subjugated by the development of drugs that destroyed their ability to experience dopamine, which also gives palpable expression to joy and well-being in life, as well as maintaining the role of a reward mechanism in the brain during the experience of agreeable circumstances. They were forced to live in controlled environments, without the benefit of a belief-causing agent designed to instill meaning."
"Suffice to say, it can be evidenced perhaps that the distribution, function, and real world evidence of dopamine function within people who were attracted to the role of psychiatrist was completely abnormal and delusional in the manner in which some sane people are known to be. This is evidenced in the fact that they were able to view a multitude of forms of human experience as disease, which is a completely unfounded belief given that it is experience itself that shapes our conceptions of disease, not the other way around. Furthermore, historical evidence bears out the fact that the mad have contributed more to the overarching understanding of life than have psychiatrists, particularly with in the realms of art and literature."
"However, my main point relates to the notion that since we have been fortunate enough to be given a clean slate, and that I fully believe that dopamine and its invocation of belief remain today a key component in the human puzzle. Everywhere you look there is evidence of an overriding incredulous nature, as though the annihilation of belief in the possibilities of the everyday were a fact of human disposition. Our construction and gardening projects would not be possible, however, if it were not for some burgeoning belief in the finer qualities of humanity and its capacity to overcome challenges while remaining integrated amid the environment. It is therefore my assertion that the survivors of this wasteland called the Earth investigate dopamine-releasing situations in order to cultivate it as an experience, in order to instill in themselves and others the potential for revolutionary changes based on a religion of the self that lends itself to experiences of euphoria along with redefined consciousness of matters of the mind that have long since been stagnating. I guess what I am saying is that it is about time that we began positively building on facets of our biochemistry that have long since been neglected."
I was sufficiently taken aback by her speech, for it seemed that I had possessed many Old World understandings in terms of biochemistry myself. While it took time to settle, I could see in this family threads of reconstructed hope and love that had long since been languishing within the crevices of the wasteland, where people remained on the verge of utter criminality with only their own self-interest preventing lapses into barbarism. Certainly, their generosity and benevolent attitude did much to instill in me a renewed spirit that acted favorably upon my sense of well-being as I bid them goodbye and walked out of their remarkable oasis.
Take every devastated Sunday morning ruined by hangover or drug use that you have ever known, compile it as extended metaphor, and apply it to the spirit of the surviving populace's yearnings. It is evidenced foremost that we carry the themes of post-apocalyptic landscapes within our minds, sometimes conscious and raised to the interpretation of the world in the manner that a banner relates to surges of wind, sometimes pressed like shrapnel into the machinery of our subconscious. You can see evidence of hoarding instincts in the soft mercenary actions of deluded citizens of the former republic, just as you witness survival sickness in conscripted laborers living out their time within the shackles of bondage. Ideals and mercies are hard to come by in this strange world, with freedom and love remaining rare ribbons. For some reason, perhaps based in our biology, the inhabitants of this wasteland continue to abide by the absurdities of bygone ages mingled with an overarching compulsion to survive.
I met the family at a reconstructed house by the shipyards, where the ballistic missiles had plummeted into harbor cranes and oil tankers in order to cripple trade. I could tell immediately that there was something peculiar in the house itself, for it had been constructed along pre-war lines that denoted former values of symmetry in architecture and proficiency in labor. But yet it had been made from debris, with its porch constructed out of a dissected shipping container and it's sidings evidencing the use of yacht hulls. A woman in a cocktail dress waved politely from the porch, beckoning me to come in. This was, as a formality, rare and charming, given the propensity of other survivors to behave with apathy or thinly veiled homicidal impulses. I followed her motion, curious.
"I want to show you what we have been doing," she said, as I followed her into the house. I was immediately overwhelmed by symbols of great wealth in the post-apocalyptic era, things such as functioning clocks, a door that led to a well-stocked kitchen, and electricity provided by an actual working generator. "We have, in our way, been rebuilding the world here." She gave me a relieved look when I smiled, than proceeded to act coy. "Of course, we have been ridding ourselves of unnecessary things as well."
I met her husband Mark and her child Logan. They struck me as oddly vulnerable, open in conversation and distanced from the verve of ruin and struggle. Mark claimed that he had indispensable knowledge of engineering and architecture, for he was old enough to have been among the last wave of graduating students from the former trade schools. He said he had spent five years on the house, with his only defense of the land being redistributed signs that claimed dangerous levels of radiation were in the area. He told me that fortunately, they had used clean bombs only on the area, and that the crater the house straddled ended up serving as a suitable basement.
They treated me to a banquet of vegetables and fresh fruit, which had been harvested from the woman's (Teresa) multiple gardens spread across the region. I had not tasted crisper apples in my pre-war days, and felt eternally grateful and indebted to them. I reached into my rucksack to offer canned green beans in exchange for the favor, which they surprisingly declined, saying that they were fortunate and understood where others weren't.
As our discussions ranged from the scattered attempts of the old government to reconstruct itself, our talk eventually fell on the subject of belief and religion. Teresa had been scavenging at the former university archives nearly two miles inland, and had much to say on the topic as pertaining to biochemistry.
As a disciple of the Council of Post Apocalyptic Psychiatry, I was invariably intrigued and considered it my good fortune to be able to benefit from her dissemination of knowledge.
"Dopamine," she said "was an often maligned and abused biochemical. It was insubstantially linked to socially undesirable behavior occurring among the alienated and misunderstood, for whom there was no outlet of sublimation of desires existent in capitalist society. They possessed dopamine, just like you and me, which nearly half of the brain maintains as a neurotransmitter that is actually responsible for such things as learning and belief."
"These poor people were subjugated by the development of drugs that destroyed their ability to experience dopamine, which also gives palpable expression to joy and well-being in life, as well as maintaining the role of a reward mechanism in the brain during the experience of agreeable circumstances. They were forced to live in controlled environments, without the benefit of a belief-causing agent designed to instill meaning."
"Suffice to say, it can be evidenced perhaps that the distribution, function, and real world evidence of dopamine function within people who were attracted to the role of psychiatrist was completely abnormal and delusional in the manner in which some sane people are known to be. This is evidenced in the fact that they were able to view a multitude of forms of human experience as disease, which is a completely unfounded belief given that it is experience itself that shapes our conceptions of disease, not the other way around. Furthermore, historical evidence bears out the fact that the mad have contributed more to the overarching understanding of life than have psychiatrists, particularly with in the realms of art and literature."
"However, my main point relates to the notion that since we have been fortunate enough to be given a clean slate, and that I fully believe that dopamine and its invocation of belief remain today a key component in the human puzzle. Everywhere you look there is evidence of an overriding incredulous nature, as though the annihilation of belief in the possibilities of the everyday were a fact of human disposition. Our construction and gardening projects would not be possible, however, if it were not for some burgeoning belief in the finer qualities of humanity and its capacity to overcome challenges while remaining integrated amid the environment. It is therefore my assertion that the survivors of this wasteland called the Earth investigate dopamine-releasing situations in order to cultivate it as an experience, in order to instill in themselves and others the potential for revolutionary changes based on a religion of the self that lends itself to experiences of euphoria along with redefined consciousness of matters of the mind that have long since been stagnating. I guess what I am saying is that it is about time that we began positively building on facets of our biochemistry that have long since been neglected."
I was sufficiently taken aback by her speech, for it seemed that I had possessed many Old World understandings in terms of biochemistry myself. While it took time to settle, I could see in this family threads of reconstructed hope and love that had long since been languishing within the crevices of the wasteland, where people remained on the verge of utter criminality with only their own self-interest preventing lapses into barbarism. Certainly, their generosity and benevolent attitude did much to instill in me a renewed spirit that acted favorably upon my sense of well-being as I bid them goodbye and walked out of their remarkable oasis.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Fixing the Past: How Ancient Civilizations are Undermining America
I've got a bone to pick with the mummified ruins of ancient civilizations. I'm certain that many of you out there harbor similar sentiments, and are loathe to express them due to current conceptions of what constitutes "politically correct" speech. I write this in the spirit of refreshing honesty, as things have certainly reached a boiling point in this nation in regards to the taboo subject of race, and it is my belief that these words will spark true change for the better.
America, as those Scythian-loving liberals are wont to call it, is a "melting pot" of different cultures and races. I would say that America is indeed a pot, but that it is rather melting in a chaotic furnace whose flames have been stoked by unacceptable tensions caused mainly by Babylonian immigrants and Sumerian ne'er-do-wells who have taken advantage of our great nation's open policy of acceptance and sullied the great spirit on which our country rests upon with open appeals to harmfully coddling policy measures such as Visigoth affirmative action and free health insurance for low-income Phoenicians. This, my friends, cannot stand. We can no longer pander to the adz-makers and spear-throwers of society who openly detest all that is modern about America, and I urge the government to quit offering welfare to Etruscans who come here just to live off the fat of our hard-earned tax dollars while contributing nothing but hordes of their own progeny who make our public schools dangerous and who have made the streets of the inner city unsafe with recent explosions in the number of reported drive-by-slingings.
But yet, the poor and under-civilized peoples of yesterday are not the only threat to American prosperity. Time and time again, I have heard with marked anger about the nefarious dealings of the Assyrian bankers, who only support their own while foisting foreclosures on earnest citizens like you and me. We could perhaps overcome this through collective and righteous action were it not for the lies of the Byzantine-run media, which has kept us invariably divided in the fight to oust the scourge of archaically-inclined foreign hordes who belong not in this great and vast land of opportunity, but rather in its overlooked history books. Ideally, however, I would have these people placed not in historical documentation, which our children are known to avidly consume, but rather would cast them into the hallways of dependable American amnesia, where they would languish and be forgotten by antediluvian minds who only wish to get through their day without having to hear from some Indus Valley scumbag about how his people were the first to domesticate sheep.
On the subject of history books, I read with ample horror the passages on these parasites in my child's school text, which is nothing but lurid propaganda designed to credit useless Mesopotamians with inventions and accomplishments that in reality, were far beyond the capabilities of their worm-infested brains. To read that the sickening Sumerian fruit vendor who rips you off on grapes had something to do with the creation of the wheel AND writing is really too much for any red-blooded American to stomach, and let it be said that any mention of the Peloponnesians is enough to make the most jaded and iron-stomached among us vomit in disgust. Don't even get me started on the Ptolemaics, the Spartans, or the Cretans, who I whole-heartedly believe are responsible for the souring of our precious young minds with deviant considerations of empire expansion.
It is time that we set our most brilliant scientific minds to work on a time machine that would send these plagues of society back to the time-periods from which they rightfully came, so that we may effectively put the past behind us without having to give a shit about who invented agriculture or algebra, so that we may never have to witness primitively dyed clothing, and so that we may breathe free and easy in a utopia that lives in the present amid fantastical modern achievements such as Crocs and the neutron bomb. This is to say emphatically that the whore of history has seduced its last young mind, and that we will no longer tolerate the opinions of the people who first formed democracy or who formulated rudimentary concepts of exchange value in a surplus-based economy. America is first and foremost about progress, symbolized by great recent achievements such as engagements in two endless foreign wars, corporate psychopathy, along with boasting both the highest infant mortality rate and largest prison population in the industrialized world. It is time we deported troublemakers and got back to the time-honored traditions of giving marijuana offenders disproportionate punishments and allowing our government to murder people with the death penalty, while insuring that the under-educated are well-armed within the scope of the Constitution and that public discourse centers around celebrity scandals. It is high time we availed ourselves of trash from the past, and centered our attention once again towards developing piratical economic policies while wrecking the environment, so that our grandchildren may know a drab wasteland free of the influence of polar bears and equality.
America must move forward. So get out there and smash some cuneiform tablets in the spirit of patriotism, break some amphorae, and blow up some Egyptian obelisks. Hang a sign that says "Koine Greek not spoken here," refuse to wear sandals, and above all, never barter.
America, as those Scythian-loving liberals are wont to call it, is a "melting pot" of different cultures and races. I would say that America is indeed a pot, but that it is rather melting in a chaotic furnace whose flames have been stoked by unacceptable tensions caused mainly by Babylonian immigrants and Sumerian ne'er-do-wells who have taken advantage of our great nation's open policy of acceptance and sullied the great spirit on which our country rests upon with open appeals to harmfully coddling policy measures such as Visigoth affirmative action and free health insurance for low-income Phoenicians. This, my friends, cannot stand. We can no longer pander to the adz-makers and spear-throwers of society who openly detest all that is modern about America, and I urge the government to quit offering welfare to Etruscans who come here just to live off the fat of our hard-earned tax dollars while contributing nothing but hordes of their own progeny who make our public schools dangerous and who have made the streets of the inner city unsafe with recent explosions in the number of reported drive-by-slingings.
But yet, the poor and under-civilized peoples of yesterday are not the only threat to American prosperity. Time and time again, I have heard with marked anger about the nefarious dealings of the Assyrian bankers, who only support their own while foisting foreclosures on earnest citizens like you and me. We could perhaps overcome this through collective and righteous action were it not for the lies of the Byzantine-run media, which has kept us invariably divided in the fight to oust the scourge of archaically-inclined foreign hordes who belong not in this great and vast land of opportunity, but rather in its overlooked history books. Ideally, however, I would have these people placed not in historical documentation, which our children are known to avidly consume, but rather would cast them into the hallways of dependable American amnesia, where they would languish and be forgotten by antediluvian minds who only wish to get through their day without having to hear from some Indus Valley scumbag about how his people were the first to domesticate sheep.
On the subject of history books, I read with ample horror the passages on these parasites in my child's school text, which is nothing but lurid propaganda designed to credit useless Mesopotamians with inventions and accomplishments that in reality, were far beyond the capabilities of their worm-infested brains. To read that the sickening Sumerian fruit vendor who rips you off on grapes had something to do with the creation of the wheel AND writing is really too much for any red-blooded American to stomach, and let it be said that any mention of the Peloponnesians is enough to make the most jaded and iron-stomached among us vomit in disgust. Don't even get me started on the Ptolemaics, the Spartans, or the Cretans, who I whole-heartedly believe are responsible for the souring of our precious young minds with deviant considerations of empire expansion.
It is time that we set our most brilliant scientific minds to work on a time machine that would send these plagues of society back to the time-periods from which they rightfully came, so that we may effectively put the past behind us without having to give a shit about who invented agriculture or algebra, so that we may never have to witness primitively dyed clothing, and so that we may breathe free and easy in a utopia that lives in the present amid fantastical modern achievements such as Crocs and the neutron bomb. This is to say emphatically that the whore of history has seduced its last young mind, and that we will no longer tolerate the opinions of the people who first formed democracy or who formulated rudimentary concepts of exchange value in a surplus-based economy. America is first and foremost about progress, symbolized by great recent achievements such as engagements in two endless foreign wars, corporate psychopathy, along with boasting both the highest infant mortality rate and largest prison population in the industrialized world. It is time we deported troublemakers and got back to the time-honored traditions of giving marijuana offenders disproportionate punishments and allowing our government to murder people with the death penalty, while insuring that the under-educated are well-armed within the scope of the Constitution and that public discourse centers around celebrity scandals. It is high time we availed ourselves of trash from the past, and centered our attention once again towards developing piratical economic policies while wrecking the environment, so that our grandchildren may know a drab wasteland free of the influence of polar bears and equality.
America must move forward. So get out there and smash some cuneiform tablets in the spirit of patriotism, break some amphorae, and blow up some Egyptian obelisks. Hang a sign that says "Koine Greek not spoken here," refuse to wear sandals, and above all, never barter.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The sky was hot and cold and full of glare. Their voices stabbed at the air between the front and back seats. Her voice was calm, smoothing the static. She tried to sound hopeful, to force all that she wanted from the afternoon into clear round words. She spoke of bridges and birds and uncoiling line and the boy whined, “There will be too many people there! They’ll think you’re crazy.”
Why, she thought, should birds being hung from an iron railing, to sway in the wind over the train tracks, be considered crazy? She understood that she would not be invisible as she stood on the bridge, but was it crazy to want to be uninvisible for a few minutes, to reach into a bag and to draw out a bird, to let a child’s hands draw out the monofilament and fish the open air for a moment…?
She considered an essay put forth by the Council for Post-Apocalyptic Psychiatry, which explored the relationship between social etiquette and the manifestations of mental illness.
…when one is expected to adhere to social norms of action that are repetitive,impersonal, and driven by external forces rather than internal forces, the individual becomes constrained. In that state of constriction, there exists an anxious tension, as well as the associated emotional states of frustration, sorrow, and feeling a 'little pissed that the world is so fuckin’ square.'
Freedom of expression in the post-apocalyptic era is codified by cultural compartmentalization of societal roles and their function of maintaining the illusory landscape of scripted participation. Even artists are, in their acceptance of relegation to the tidy constructs of cultural diversity, subject to constricted self-expression.
The Council has found that the inflexible and often oppressive criticism which is prevalent in this post-apocalyptic age serves to limit and reinforce our roles as they are prescribed by race, socioeconomic status, and clan values. When one diverges from the expectations of his or her group, they are actively or passively ostracized. Often, the initiation into an ostracized state involves the use of pathological labeling and mental health indictment.
Defining as "crazy" the failure to adhere to prescribed course of action has proved to have a deleterious effect on the mental health of post-apocalyptic citizens. In order to avoid the dehumanizing isolation imposed upon those deemed "crazy," many people have sought to become invisible within their roles, fulfilling the expectations assigned to said role so thoroughly that any aberrant personality traits are cloaked by acceptable mannerism and endeavor.
It has been found that, over time, the social brutality of forced invisibility results in clinically significant increases in maladaptive and sociopathic activity, such as watching television, compulsive accessorizing of role through over-consumption of material goods, self-harm through ingestion of toxic foods, and diminished desire to imagine a world other than this one.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
What is the purpose of leaving presents for strangers? A small length of wire, twisted into the form of a bird in flight, a curious scroll attached, the desire to surprise someone who you've never met - these are the components of bewilderment.
The economy of gifts is governed by occasion and perceived worth. Presents are a powerful tool in reinforcing our roles as consumers and participants in material culture. Thus, offerings that are of questionable value and without specific recipient represent a dynamic new generosity characterized by an invitation to see the world as pointless, strange and lovely.
At first glance, these small sculptures appear to be garbage.
It is only upon closer inspection that one discovers their true form.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Haphazard Assemblies and Perceptual Enhancement Machines
The urban and suburban experience speaks in its landscape of angular functionality, of thorough-ways designed for movement of commerce and the somnambulism of traffic, basing itself in the methods of a psycho-geography that leaves no handhold for the fingers of the mind. While cracked streets, uprooted pavement, and decay cause for unplanned shifts in the geometry of infrastructure and architecture, the standard constructive style based in practical function obliterates the irregular in favor of an enforced homogeneity that is experienced from town to town, from city to city. One gets the feeling that in walking or driving from location to location in different regions, that one is still in the same place and that one is still the same person, thanks to unified standards of building and maintenance that enforce the geometry of order. Curiosity and wonder are obliterated by planes of concrete and stretches of asphalt that support buildings in their simple facts of unadorned existence, discovery halted by the usual symmetries, and adventurous experience is transmuted into everyday boredom.
Additionally, these constructs are based in the technical specialism of an economy that has subjected construction and creation to cubby-holes that exist amid the division of labor. Because of this, those who build cities are not artists, invested in the creation of sentiment or experience. Those who organize the concrete aspects of our society are not philosophers, nor are they poets or sculptors or dreamers. They are indeed, nothing more than repositories for calcified ways of completing things, people who would never imagine that perhaps a freeway should become a beautiful or curious thing.
While it is impossible currently to transform the inherent forms of infrastructure and architecture, it is possible to accentuate the spaces in which they reside through the construction of haphazard assemblies that work through abstract mechanism to offer pedestrians and motorists an encounter with new and unique arrangements. We refer to these constructions as haphazard because they delightfully reflect the admirably amateur nature of people invested in creation who do not possess the training of a specialized role, but who regardless wish to lend to the material world a manifestation of their labor that carries the genuinely personal signature of their unique and often unrepeatable efforts.
The haphazard assembly is often a conglomeration of found materials and items, arranged in conformity only to the creator's desires. Suitable trash or junk is useful in construction, as not only do assemblies based in such supposedly useless items facilitate new perspectives on discarded material, but are also readily available as per the wasteful nature of the consumerist-based economy. These creations, an example of which we have illustrated by rearranging discarded lumber and old latticework, offer the enhancement of old forms through breaks in banal patterning, while exhibiting a chaotic order that forces a shift in the viewer's conditioned and unconscious facilities of aesthetic judgment towards involving an appreciation of the curious. These constructions are meant as contrastive measures against clean and streamlined stylistic dictatorships, as well as events that allow the creator to contribute their own idiosyncratic model of material arrangement amid entrenched regimes of building. Additionally, haphazard assemblies allow creators to reclaim space for free public usage by allowing them a fuller realm of participation in these areas.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Journal of American Leisure
One has only to look at the boarded-up shops, empty schools, and understaffed hospitals to bear witness to the havoc caused by rampant astral projection . In the past year, rates of astral disappearances have skyrocketed, indicating that people are leaving their bodies and simply not returning to them.
The first exodus of soulbodies, it appears, was accidental. Exhausted by the demands of modern life, working class Americans, who frequently found themselves in defeated postures of repose, discovered that by simply relaxing their bellybuttons and allowing their mouths to fall open slackly, they could free the essence of their consciousness. One of the first people to experience this in Peoria, Illinois was Mr. James Whittey, who was a bricklayer by trade, until he discovered the joys of astral projection. He returned to his body only long enough to speak briefly with us, explaining that his dreambody was going to a Bruce Springsteen concert that evening.
“It was the darnedest thing,” Mr. Whittey explains, “I’d gotten off of work and was pretty beat. So, I was just sitting there in my chair and I got to scratchin’ my belly a little. I scratch myself a lot, but I never felt the feeling that I started to feel around my bellybutton. I didn’t know it at the time, but my astral umbilicus was awakening.”
“At first, I didn’t know what was happening, I thought maybe I’d better go microwave a burrito or have a beer, but when I went to get up from my chair, I just sort of floated up and I saw myself sitting there and my mouth was hanging open and I thought, ‘Well, I reckon I’m dead’ and, you know, thinking back, I wasn’t too sad about that.”
Like Mr. Whittey, many people who experience satisfying out-of-body experiences are reluctant to return to their human bodies. Studies show that the elderly, disabled, and stereotypically ugly are far more likely to leave their bodies more or less permanently. Once a soul becomes a "runaway" their bodies become "vacancies". It is estimated that millions have burdened their families with the fleshy husks they've left behind. Assisted living facilities are becoming crowded with vacancies and care of these cases can be quite complicated.
Rhonda Little, a CNA at Fair Oaks Home in suburban Chicago, explains that it is very difficult to keep the vacancies safe. "Oh, it's not like they do much of anything, but you know, they're vacant and so any old soul could just slip in and, boom, take over. Why just last month, old Mr. Hankins was inhabited by what appeared to be the soul of a crack whore. He just walked up and down the halls, trying the doorknobs and hollering out to people. We didn't know what to tell his family, when they came to visit on Sunday and he sat on his son's lap, started feeling around for his wallet. Of course, the families know that this happens sometimes and they are very understanding."
The challenge of keeping vacancies safe has proved too much for some families and there has been a dramatic increase in the number of people being left sitting beside the highway. It is now a common sight to see the soulless bodies of people propped against one another in city parks and highway medians. One woman, who would like to remain anonymous, tells of the heartwrenching decision to leave her 23-year old son at an interstate rest stop. "We just didn't know what to do with him anymore. He just sat and stared at us and at first we thought he'd gone schizophrenic..." The woman goes on to explain that they didn't fully understand until they found the books on astral projection under the young man's bed.
Donnegal Dougan, author of one of those books, Astral, Cheap, and Easy, is currently in settlement negotiations in a lawsuit brought about a family whose daughter "just disappeared" after reading the book.
"This is why," Mr. Dougan explains, "there is a warning at the front of the book. It clearly states that: In this age of the soul traveller, we must heed the warning of our dreambody forebearers and cling always to the silken cord that draws us home."
"The effect of astral projection on the American economy has been devastating," says chief financial analyst of the New York Times, Bill Briggins. "Why, I haven't gotten paid in a month because that dimwit in payroll decided to astrally project herself to the Justin Bieber concert and got all caught up in that mess!"
The mess that Mr. Briggins is referring to is the astral cloud that has been following Justin Bieber for the past month and a half. "The dense concentration of souls around Mr. Bieber's head is actually impairing his cell phone reception. However, the prismatic effect of dreambody refraction has created a halo of rainbow light that surrounds Mr. Bieber at all times. We are trying to be sensitive to the aura and Justin is working on a new song, called You're My Dreambody."
Ticket sales to his concerts, however, are down. The entertainment and travel industries have started a campaign in response to the skyrocketing rates of astral piracy of experiences that were once privileges of the rich and famous. "Ticket sales have been way down," says Super Bowl marketing manager Tom Slatton. "I mean really, though - who can blame them...I'll tell you who. God. It is the position of the leading executives that those who go against God and country by astrally projecting themselves to dream vacations and VIP events are going to have their cords cut at the gates of Heaven and they will plummet down to Hell...to Hell! They will plummet to Hell!"
Aside from the strong messaging being offered by the entertainment industry, there has been little response from world religious leaders. The official statement made by the Vatican reads as follows, "We do not believe that one's soul can project, because one's soul is held by God and by God alone." There has been no statement made regarding the mounting evidence that the Pope himself may have left his withered vessel. Reports have been made that during formal Mass, the Pope has just been seated in an ornate chair to the right of the cross and has, once, slumped to the side and had to be repositioned by the Bishop.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Friday, May 20, 2011
Delusional Existentialism and Existential Delusion
It remains possible, despite claims to the contrary, to achieve meaning and purpose on ontological ground. While it is the argument of the existentialist that meaning and purpose do not exist due to the notion that there remains no perfect and godly consciousness in which to spawn objective dispersal of such things, it can be witnessed ultimately that both purpose and meaning remain innately human constructs which may be divorced from ecclesiastical considerations. Furthermore, it is the somewhat flawed argument of the existentialist that lays claim to the idea that human existence precedes essence and purpose, which upon further examination, will prove to be an erroneous notion.
Most simply, it can be stated that purpose and meaning in human life exist in relation to social function and participation, particularly in the attribution of a social role to the individual. Within the network of human creation, this ascribed role provides meaning, value, and purpose within the framework of an organized formation that may exhibit manifold goals as its ends. A man who works as a firefighter maintains the purpose of being one who fights fires, just as the baker is one who bakes bread, thus showing that social roles ascribe features to humanity which the existentialist doubts exist.
Moreover, it can be argued that in terms of solipsism, that we alone create value, meaning, and purpose for ourselves within the context of our day to day lives. The truth, invariably, is what we carry with us, and exists in a relationship to our unique experiences that is crafted by us alone. The same is true of our individual constructions of meaning and purpose, which are rooted in our convictions, whims, and follies, and may be said to feature properties as analogously distinct as our physical features. While it may be evidenced that many individuals incorporate meanings and values that are not original creations but have rather been disseminated through tradition, conditioning, and education, it is ultimately the reactive choice of the individual to incorporate or discard these aspects of life, leading to the conclusion that subjective axiology is fashioned along the lines of solipsistic choice and discernment.
Indeed, existentialism errs is in its claim that unlike the technological props of mankind, whose purpose exists before creation, that human existence occurs before having a purpose. This claim can be shown to be false by the mere fact of human biology, all of which possesses clear functional purpose in terms of maintaining life. The human hearts function is to pump blood, it is the purpose of blood to carry oxygen, and it is the function of the lungs to intake oxygen. The roles of various facets of human biology act to deny the existential claim that existence precedes essence, if only in a strictly material sense. Yet, almost any human activity on a micro or macro level may be pointed to as an example indicating the value and purpose of human essence, particularly role or conviction-based behaviors. It may furthermore be explicated that human life is a purpose in itself, requiring no value beyond its fulfillment to serve as justification for its operation.
However, as a springboard, we may adopt the existential consideration that man is condemned to freedom, as this is evidenced by our solipsistic relation to rational and irrational choice, especially in terms of maintaining value and purpose. Man always harbors the capacity for free choice within the artifice of circumstance, a fact which people unfortunately have forgotten in the course of the reward-punishment conditioning proffered by the social nexus.
In order to achieve a break with the enforced and mediated aspects of purpose and meaning inherent in social role considerations, it may be advisable to cultivate conscious delusions. Beyond the fact that people achieve this within the course of everyday life for the purposes of diminishing cognitive dissonance, conscious cultivation of delusions create perhaps an undisclosed benefit in the sense of serving as tools which ultimately lend towards enhanced depth of meaning and value in life. Rather than view delusions as negative features of defunct mentalities, we can optimistically view their existence as constituting the art of essence and the literature of meaning.
Since we are indeed free to choose (and arguably free to react even to delusive intrusions), it is certainly preferable to lead a delusional life that cultivates aspects of meaning which are not readily obtained by positivist conceptions of reality that would regulate the world to remaining as bleak as a Monday morning. In terms of solipsistic considerations, it may be viewed as imperative that you adorn the story of your experience with ornate fictive qualities in order to reclaim your capacity for living amid stale social writs that have ultimately served constrictive roles in terms of supporting positivist pragmatism. An example of a delusion that transmutes thinking and existential role is the conception that reality exists as a veiled prison that we must admirably struggle against using art, humor, and love as our weapons. You can place yourself in the delusional role of underground resistance soldier, a job that requires considerable skill, secrecy, and bravery. It may be argued that the effects such an intentional delusion has on your sense of value and meaning will ultimately lead to enhanced quality of life.
In maintaining delusional relations to the world and incorrect thinking, we also affirm our solemn and unspoken right as existential experimenters to be wrong but beautiful, as contrary to academic conception, truth is not invariably linked to beauty, but beauty may also be linked inordinately to falsehood. If beautiful delusions are viewed as an aspect of human biology (as indeed, they are based in the brain) one can take the view that they ultimately may be esteemed as much as rational thinking, given that both reason and delusion purport the same basis of existence, namely the foundational structure of the mind. And in terms of value and purpose, the unapplied and immaterial products of the brain may be said to exhibit equality of meaning in their appearance as symptoms of an anatomical agent crafted in the essence of life itself.
Most simply, it can be stated that purpose and meaning in human life exist in relation to social function and participation, particularly in the attribution of a social role to the individual. Within the network of human creation, this ascribed role provides meaning, value, and purpose within the framework of an organized formation that may exhibit manifold goals as its ends. A man who works as a firefighter maintains the purpose of being one who fights fires, just as the baker is one who bakes bread, thus showing that social roles ascribe features to humanity which the existentialist doubts exist.
Moreover, it can be argued that in terms of solipsism, that we alone create value, meaning, and purpose for ourselves within the context of our day to day lives. The truth, invariably, is what we carry with us, and exists in a relationship to our unique experiences that is crafted by us alone. The same is true of our individual constructions of meaning and purpose, which are rooted in our convictions, whims, and follies, and may be said to feature properties as analogously distinct as our physical features. While it may be evidenced that many individuals incorporate meanings and values that are not original creations but have rather been disseminated through tradition, conditioning, and education, it is ultimately the reactive choice of the individual to incorporate or discard these aspects of life, leading to the conclusion that subjective axiology is fashioned along the lines of solipsistic choice and discernment.
Indeed, existentialism errs is in its claim that unlike the technological props of mankind, whose purpose exists before creation, that human existence occurs before having a purpose. This claim can be shown to be false by the mere fact of human biology, all of which possesses clear functional purpose in terms of maintaining life. The human hearts function is to pump blood, it is the purpose of blood to carry oxygen, and it is the function of the lungs to intake oxygen. The roles of various facets of human biology act to deny the existential claim that existence precedes essence, if only in a strictly material sense. Yet, almost any human activity on a micro or macro level may be pointed to as an example indicating the value and purpose of human essence, particularly role or conviction-based behaviors. It may furthermore be explicated that human life is a purpose in itself, requiring no value beyond its fulfillment to serve as justification for its operation.
However, as a springboard, we may adopt the existential consideration that man is condemned to freedom, as this is evidenced by our solipsistic relation to rational and irrational choice, especially in terms of maintaining value and purpose. Man always harbors the capacity for free choice within the artifice of circumstance, a fact which people unfortunately have forgotten in the course of the reward-punishment conditioning proffered by the social nexus.
In order to achieve a break with the enforced and mediated aspects of purpose and meaning inherent in social role considerations, it may be advisable to cultivate conscious delusions. Beyond the fact that people achieve this within the course of everyday life for the purposes of diminishing cognitive dissonance, conscious cultivation of delusions create perhaps an undisclosed benefit in the sense of serving as tools which ultimately lend towards enhanced depth of meaning and value in life. Rather than view delusions as negative features of defunct mentalities, we can optimistically view their existence as constituting the art of essence and the literature of meaning.
Since we are indeed free to choose (and arguably free to react even to delusive intrusions), it is certainly preferable to lead a delusional life that cultivates aspects of meaning which are not readily obtained by positivist conceptions of reality that would regulate the world to remaining as bleak as a Monday morning. In terms of solipsistic considerations, it may be viewed as imperative that you adorn the story of your experience with ornate fictive qualities in order to reclaim your capacity for living amid stale social writs that have ultimately served constrictive roles in terms of supporting positivist pragmatism. An example of a delusion that transmutes thinking and existential role is the conception that reality exists as a veiled prison that we must admirably struggle against using art, humor, and love as our weapons. You can place yourself in the delusional role of underground resistance soldier, a job that requires considerable skill, secrecy, and bravery. It may be argued that the effects such an intentional delusion has on your sense of value and meaning will ultimately lead to enhanced quality of life.
In maintaining delusional relations to the world and incorrect thinking, we also affirm our solemn and unspoken right as existential experimenters to be wrong but beautiful, as contrary to academic conception, truth is not invariably linked to beauty, but beauty may also be linked inordinately to falsehood. If beautiful delusions are viewed as an aspect of human biology (as indeed, they are based in the brain) one can take the view that they ultimately may be esteemed as much as rational thinking, given that both reason and delusion purport the same basis of existence, namely the foundational structure of the mind. And in terms of value and purpose, the unapplied and immaterial products of the brain may be said to exhibit equality of meaning in their appearance as symptoms of an anatomical agent crafted in the essence of life itself.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Tips for Living In the New Age
As evidenced early in the day, chakra misalignment can be the cause for much morning malaise and may end up exhibiting ruinous effects on the arc of your waking time. While you may be stocked up on herbal tea and natural remedies, the true path to balance is found amid the landscape of chakra work, which involves the embracing of mere bullshit for bullshit's sake. A cup of coffee won't connect you to your spiritual brethren or even act to adjust flaws in your muddled aura or unsymmetrical energy field, and may actually function in the worst of circumstances to banish you to the most ancient of Sumerian hells encapsulated by the image of a pit of stinking darkness.
To conscientiously avoid the punitive afterlives of ancient civilizations, one would do well to follow this simple recipe for chakra balance amid a world that is filled with mythological torments. In order to facilitate a plan of wellness, it is advisable to begin with meditations rooted in the groin chakra, which is the most important and oft-neglected sources of our vital, pick-me-up, day-to-day energy flows. To sufficiently achieve a blissful reckoning within the magical realm of the groin, it is currently necessary as dictated by the expertise of New Age gurus to balance an expensive designer cupcake upon your genitals. You may also, during this important venture, meditate on the image of a stray unicorn named Saul, who has journeyed to you as a spirit guide interested wholly in making certain that your designer cupcake remains perfectly stable upon your loins, while expecting nothing in return but the satisfaction of spectating with dewy eye the true beauty of a dessert item placed upon the generator of reproductive energies.
Where there is a method, there is also a reason. The cupcake, being particularly sweet, will transfer its saccharine nature directly into your groin. This has, in my experience, achieved dramatic effects, and is by far more preferable than the use of salt-based foods such as beef jerky or pretzels. As consequence of this technique, you will notice omens of benevolence scattered through out your day like cupcake sprinkles, importing their color and vivacity while reproducing in gay color.
Next, we turn to the third eye, or mind chakra. I like to call this one "Old Thoughty" in order to remember where my thoughts come from. You can name it something fun and endearing as well, and I may be as bold as to suggest such titles as "The Armchair of Western Scientific Discovery" or even "The Handmaiden To Imperialism." However, you may want to take into account the fact that New Agers never use their brains, thus leading you to name this chakra "The Great Burgeoning Useless" or even "Why People Think Crystals Hold Special Energies That Help With Healing." Really though, despite the cute and necessary names we may ascribe to this chakra, the path to its balance remains difficult and complex.
In order to balance the third-eye/mind chakra, you have to ultimately take into account The Law of Perfection, which is the title of my latest book, written while undertaking a dramatic and fun spiritual quest while using psilocybin in the city of Mogadishu. This law states that in order to enjoy life, that we must be maniacally and robotically perfect in every task we perform, no matter how large or small. And in order to balance the mind chakra, this perfection must reach levels unknown to even the obsessive-compulsive. Consider for example, the act of brushing your teeth. If you do it haphazardly, albeit with vigor, evil spirits will flood the crenelations of your mind chakra, as dental hygiene acts as a known gateway for manifestations of darkness. You must consciously rotate the bristles of your toothbrush first in a counter-clockwise direction over each individual tooth before making a little "Z" for Zoroaster on the pearly white, and only in this order, as is the proper way. I have seen firsthand the arrogance of people who have refused to buy my book be met with lifelong demonic possession due to their lackadaisical teeth-brushing lifestyles, and it is my truest hope that you may avoid this by following the spiritually empirical method.
But yet, it is important that you remain vigilant in your following of The Law of Perfection, not only for the sake of balancing your chakra, but also for the sake of being liked as a human being. Needless to say, but nobody likes a person in the office who cannot consistently land freethrows of wastepaper into the trashcan, nor do we admire those who may inefficiently place a water glass on a table in such a position that it negates the capacity for optimum drinkability.
Lastly and most importantly is the wallet chakra. While you may have heard of other chakras, I can assure you that they do not exist, as empirical evidence has not bore them out, and it is my heartfelt belief that their existence is created by false gurus with manipulative tendencies who wish to squeeze money out of the gullible by instilling an illusive sense of purpose into otherwise meaningless lives. That being said, it is the wallet chakra that is the source of all human love and affection. This is a fact born out of personal experience, as evidenced by the fact that a Ketamine addicted veterinarian did not want to make out with me behind the animal-medical dumpster until I bought her a set of matching refrigerators. In order to balance the wallet chakra, one must not only be a natural expert at the game of Monopoly, but must also take the time to be a good-looking and successful person with a great personality who has made all the correct career moves at the proper time. The wallet chakra is also perhaps the most suitably New Age, being that the philosophy of love and spiritual understanding can only be participated in within the framework of a consumerist economy that allows people to buy commodified indigenous beliefs bolstered by frilly and feel-good sentimentality worthy of the imaginings of LSD babies. As you can see, it is invariably important that your wallet chakra maintains levels of exceptional energy, especially in order that you may buy my new book entitled "People Suffer Because They Deserve It." That being said, I sincerely hope that you are a handsome social ladder climber invested with a wealth of inner gold, because suffice to say, otherwise you're fucked.
I hope my words have invested in you the necessary secret knowledge for achieving an easy and uncomplicated day. I would have more to say to you, however it is imperative for the purposes of research and universal harmony that I cloister myself in a golden casket for the purpose of playing with my own supple vibrations.
To conscientiously avoid the punitive afterlives of ancient civilizations, one would do well to follow this simple recipe for chakra balance amid a world that is filled with mythological torments. In order to facilitate a plan of wellness, it is advisable to begin with meditations rooted in the groin chakra, which is the most important and oft-neglected sources of our vital, pick-me-up, day-to-day energy flows. To sufficiently achieve a blissful reckoning within the magical realm of the groin, it is currently necessary as dictated by the expertise of New Age gurus to balance an expensive designer cupcake upon your genitals. You may also, during this important venture, meditate on the image of a stray unicorn named Saul, who has journeyed to you as a spirit guide interested wholly in making certain that your designer cupcake remains perfectly stable upon your loins, while expecting nothing in return but the satisfaction of spectating with dewy eye the true beauty of a dessert item placed upon the generator of reproductive energies.
Where there is a method, there is also a reason. The cupcake, being particularly sweet, will transfer its saccharine nature directly into your groin. This has, in my experience, achieved dramatic effects, and is by far more preferable than the use of salt-based foods such as beef jerky or pretzels. As consequence of this technique, you will notice omens of benevolence scattered through out your day like cupcake sprinkles, importing their color and vivacity while reproducing in gay color.
Next, we turn to the third eye, or mind chakra. I like to call this one "Old Thoughty" in order to remember where my thoughts come from. You can name it something fun and endearing as well, and I may be as bold as to suggest such titles as "The Armchair of Western Scientific Discovery" or even "The Handmaiden To Imperialism." However, you may want to take into account the fact that New Agers never use their brains, thus leading you to name this chakra "The Great Burgeoning Useless" or even "Why People Think Crystals Hold Special Energies That Help With Healing." Really though, despite the cute and necessary names we may ascribe to this chakra, the path to its balance remains difficult and complex.
In order to balance the third-eye/mind chakra, you have to ultimately take into account The Law of Perfection, which is the title of my latest book, written while undertaking a dramatic and fun spiritual quest while using psilocybin in the city of Mogadishu. This law states that in order to enjoy life, that we must be maniacally and robotically perfect in every task we perform, no matter how large or small. And in order to balance the mind chakra, this perfection must reach levels unknown to even the obsessive-compulsive. Consider for example, the act of brushing your teeth. If you do it haphazardly, albeit with vigor, evil spirits will flood the crenelations of your mind chakra, as dental hygiene acts as a known gateway for manifestations of darkness. You must consciously rotate the bristles of your toothbrush first in a counter-clockwise direction over each individual tooth before making a little "Z" for Zoroaster on the pearly white, and only in this order, as is the proper way. I have seen firsthand the arrogance of people who have refused to buy my book be met with lifelong demonic possession due to their lackadaisical teeth-brushing lifestyles, and it is my truest hope that you may avoid this by following the spiritually empirical method.
But yet, it is important that you remain vigilant in your following of The Law of Perfection, not only for the sake of balancing your chakra, but also for the sake of being liked as a human being. Needless to say, but nobody likes a person in the office who cannot consistently land freethrows of wastepaper into the trashcan, nor do we admire those who may inefficiently place a water glass on a table in such a position that it negates the capacity for optimum drinkability.
Lastly and most importantly is the wallet chakra. While you may have heard of other chakras, I can assure you that they do not exist, as empirical evidence has not bore them out, and it is my heartfelt belief that their existence is created by false gurus with manipulative tendencies who wish to squeeze money out of the gullible by instilling an illusive sense of purpose into otherwise meaningless lives. That being said, it is the wallet chakra that is the source of all human love and affection. This is a fact born out of personal experience, as evidenced by the fact that a Ketamine addicted veterinarian did not want to make out with me behind the animal-medical dumpster until I bought her a set of matching refrigerators. In order to balance the wallet chakra, one must not only be a natural expert at the game of Monopoly, but must also take the time to be a good-looking and successful person with a great personality who has made all the correct career moves at the proper time. The wallet chakra is also perhaps the most suitably New Age, being that the philosophy of love and spiritual understanding can only be participated in within the framework of a consumerist economy that allows people to buy commodified indigenous beliefs bolstered by frilly and feel-good sentimentality worthy of the imaginings of LSD babies. As you can see, it is invariably important that your wallet chakra maintains levels of exceptional energy, especially in order that you may buy my new book entitled "People Suffer Because They Deserve It." That being said, I sincerely hope that you are a handsome social ladder climber invested with a wealth of inner gold, because suffice to say, otherwise you're fucked.
I hope my words have invested in you the necessary secret knowledge for achieving an easy and uncomplicated day. I would have more to say to you, however it is imperative for the purposes of research and universal harmony that I cloister myself in a golden casket for the purpose of playing with my own supple vibrations.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Freudian Economy: Ego Defense Mechanisms
The modern epoch has witnessed only relatively stale analysis of economic functions, with tools of analysis regulated to the subject of economics itself. If one takes a broader view of micro and macro behaviors of the market, it becomes obvious that its functions are based ultimately in human psychology and not externally objective laws. It is evidenced, therefore, that the economy and current markets serve as aggregates of individual psychological properties, and as such an aggregate, can be said to function as a gigantic psyche itself.
Given that the economy works like a massive mind, we can draft new conclusions based in its psychology using tools of Freudian analysis, particularly those pertaining to ego defense mechanisms. Therefore, it is our claim that the current economy is subject to exhibiting the features of sublimation, denial, repression, displacement, and projection.
A clear cut facet of sublimation as it operates in the market economy pertains to the trans-formative aspect of capitalism, and in particular, the propensity of human allurements, goods, services, and characteristics to be changed into commodities in order that they may be bought or sold. A prevalent example that may be pointed to involves the propensity of subculture characteristics to be co-opted by profit-seekers in the market, ranging the spectrum from punk rock fashion and recordings to antagonistic political literature. Sublimation of goods and ways of life that by themselves speak to values external to the market is facilitated by the unspoken corporate attitude that nearly anything may be bought and sold, leading to "counter-culture" markets that include such companies as Hot Topic and arguably even Urban Outfitters, which pander to the initial human desire to express uniqueness. Subculture attitudes and expressions which ultimately have content that is antagonistic, transcendent, or apathetic towards economic operations are dealt with by the market in a manner that incorporates them into an acceptable feature of the current economic system through co-option and sublimation of their properties by transforming them into commodities, which is the main language of the market.
Denial is subsequently a resonant feature of the economic mind. The most readily available example of denial in action pertains to the inability of the economy to deal with its own externalities, which take the form of such things as environmental, human, and financial damage. The market and the economy continue to operate ceaselessly on its own unchallenged assumptions while arguably making the world unlivable through wars, resource exploitation, pollution, and labor exploitation. The fact that it is possible for stock market traders to buy or sell silver while subsequently denying the conditions of communities which its mines have created for indigenous populations is specific evidence of the operations of denial, which appear as the prevailing feature of modern economic operations.
Another feature of the economic mind is its ability to invoke repression on a consistent basis. When the market is up, histories of financial and economic disasters are conveniently forgotten, and often even the policies that have safeguarded against market depressions are absconded with during these periods of prosperity, as may be seen in the Bush administrations move to privatize enormous sectors of the economy, which may be currently responsible for the wide-spread recession we are experiencing. Negative periods, depressions, recessions, and panics are not dealt with by upper-echelon executives or marketers, leading one to the conclusion that these periods of calamity have been repressed by the economic mind.
The need for the market to take out impulses on less offensive targets, or displacement, is also a widespread consequence of its operation. This may be seen recently in the actions of banks making predatory loans to low-income people who desired housing, and the mass foreclosure rate that ensued. It can be argued that it is the fundamental nature of the current economy to act in an aggressive manner in terms of seeking profit, and that furthermore, this aggressive nature is most frequently levied on the poor and oppressed people of the world, as they lack the power of political lobbying or the financial power necessary to pursue counter-actions in the event of victimization at the hands of corporate or financial entities. Displacement is a consistent facet of the economy's actions, who's players maliciously seek profit and power over easy and readily available targets.
The use of projection by the capitalist economy was utilized in a widespread fashion during the Cold War, where unacceptable impulses were placed on the motivations, constructions, features, and philosophies of the Communist World. The subsequent dehumanization of communists (in particular, the Vietnamese) which took place were varied forms of projection that had been incorporated into the capitalist market in order to serve the values of market production and expansion, which were witnessed in the marketing of Coca Cola in Saigon and more generally in the desire for communism to be abolished if only so that the communist nations may form new markets for growth and expansion. As a tactic of the economic psychology, communists were much maligned, and the dangerous impulses of the capitalist system were invariably projected upon people who, in general, simply lived under a different economic system.
In conclusion, it can be said that the current economy and market are highly criticizable, given the widespread activities of Freudian ego-defense mechanisms which inundate its behaviors. It is not far-fetched to consider the economy as a troubled mind, in vast need of extensive therapies and changes, in order that it will not only abscond from the usage of ego-defense mechanisms, but also so that the quality of human experience witnessed while living under its rather dubious features may be dramatically improved. It is our hopes that through the view of the economy as an ailing mind, that its questionable aspects may be dramatically improved through corrective and therapeutic measures.
Given that the economy works like a massive mind, we can draft new conclusions based in its psychology using tools of Freudian analysis, particularly those pertaining to ego defense mechanisms. Therefore, it is our claim that the current economy is subject to exhibiting the features of sublimation, denial, repression, displacement, and projection.
A clear cut facet of sublimation as it operates in the market economy pertains to the trans-formative aspect of capitalism, and in particular, the propensity of human allurements, goods, services, and characteristics to be changed into commodities in order that they may be bought or sold. A prevalent example that may be pointed to involves the propensity of subculture characteristics to be co-opted by profit-seekers in the market, ranging the spectrum from punk rock fashion and recordings to antagonistic political literature. Sublimation of goods and ways of life that by themselves speak to values external to the market is facilitated by the unspoken corporate attitude that nearly anything may be bought and sold, leading to "counter-culture" markets that include such companies as Hot Topic and arguably even Urban Outfitters, which pander to the initial human desire to express uniqueness. Subculture attitudes and expressions which ultimately have content that is antagonistic, transcendent, or apathetic towards economic operations are dealt with by the market in a manner that incorporates them into an acceptable feature of the current economic system through co-option and sublimation of their properties by transforming them into commodities, which is the main language of the market.
Denial is subsequently a resonant feature of the economic mind. The most readily available example of denial in action pertains to the inability of the economy to deal with its own externalities, which take the form of such things as environmental, human, and financial damage. The market and the economy continue to operate ceaselessly on its own unchallenged assumptions while arguably making the world unlivable through wars, resource exploitation, pollution, and labor exploitation. The fact that it is possible for stock market traders to buy or sell silver while subsequently denying the conditions of communities which its mines have created for indigenous populations is specific evidence of the operations of denial, which appear as the prevailing feature of modern economic operations.
Another feature of the economic mind is its ability to invoke repression on a consistent basis. When the market is up, histories of financial and economic disasters are conveniently forgotten, and often even the policies that have safeguarded against market depressions are absconded with during these periods of prosperity, as may be seen in the Bush administrations move to privatize enormous sectors of the economy, which may be currently responsible for the wide-spread recession we are experiencing. Negative periods, depressions, recessions, and panics are not dealt with by upper-echelon executives or marketers, leading one to the conclusion that these periods of calamity have been repressed by the economic mind.
The need for the market to take out impulses on less offensive targets, or displacement, is also a widespread consequence of its operation. This may be seen recently in the actions of banks making predatory loans to low-income people who desired housing, and the mass foreclosure rate that ensued. It can be argued that it is the fundamental nature of the current economy to act in an aggressive manner in terms of seeking profit, and that furthermore, this aggressive nature is most frequently levied on the poor and oppressed people of the world, as they lack the power of political lobbying or the financial power necessary to pursue counter-actions in the event of victimization at the hands of corporate or financial entities. Displacement is a consistent facet of the economy's actions, who's players maliciously seek profit and power over easy and readily available targets.
The use of projection by the capitalist economy was utilized in a widespread fashion during the Cold War, where unacceptable impulses were placed on the motivations, constructions, features, and philosophies of the Communist World. The subsequent dehumanization of communists (in particular, the Vietnamese) which took place were varied forms of projection that had been incorporated into the capitalist market in order to serve the values of market production and expansion, which were witnessed in the marketing of Coca Cola in Saigon and more generally in the desire for communism to be abolished if only so that the communist nations may form new markets for growth and expansion. As a tactic of the economic psychology, communists were much maligned, and the dangerous impulses of the capitalist system were invariably projected upon people who, in general, simply lived under a different economic system.
In conclusion, it can be said that the current economy and market are highly criticizable, given the widespread activities of Freudian ego-defense mechanisms which inundate its behaviors. It is not far-fetched to consider the economy as a troubled mind, in vast need of extensive therapies and changes, in order that it will not only abscond from the usage of ego-defense mechanisms, but also so that the quality of human experience witnessed while living under its rather dubious features may be dramatically improved. It is our hopes that through the view of the economy as an ailing mind, that its questionable aspects may be dramatically improved through corrective and therapeutic measures.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Portraits of Banality
These pictures were "inspired" by a recent art installation that exploited the first person perspective in terms of making the viewer a participant. With infinite benevolence, we have crafted a similar experience for your displeasure, invoking aspects of living which are often overlooked by creative ventures, and as you can see, are overlooked for good reason.
Notations Concerning Post Apocalyptic Psychiatry
Inveterate dissemination of 20th century pre-apocalyptic psychiatry has facilitated ruinous manifestations of oppression and constriction upon the psyches of untold millions, despite it's narcissistic self-perception as a healing science. If the fact that the world has ended is taken into consideration, we may draft a retrospect of this barbaric discipline through the frame-work of our own superior values and knowledge, with the understanding that 20th century psychiatry had propagated untold barbarisms on vital psychic flowers in need only of simple understanding and appreciation.
Firstly, it can be illustrated through the methodology of 20th century psychiatric experiments that the dopamine hypothesis as a cause of madness and disorder is inevitably a flawed conclusion, given the circumstances in which the neurotransmitter dopamine was discovered in 1957. While working in the pharmacological laboratory, Arvid Carlsson injected prepared rabbits with amphetamines, which increased their temperament to a state of frenzy. They were given a sedation agent comparable to Thorazine, which dramatically decreased their frenetic behavior to a state of passivity. This drug reaction, instead of typically and most obviously describing the effects of foreign and man made substances on the biochemistry of the rabbit brain, were without caution cited as evidence of the neurotransmitter dopamine and furthermore erroneously cited as the source of madness in the human brain.
It must be seen currently that indeed, the human brain is a complex system that is ultimately unknowable through dubious reductionist terms. Increasingly, it has become apparent to the post-apocalyptic psychiatrist that the dopamine hypothesis was based in the diminutive philosophy of human psycho-biology functioning in mechanical terms along an overly-simplified cause and effect capacity. Furthermore, given the transmuted value of human life witnessed after the apocalypse, we have recorded in ample evidence the existence of the human mind as a complex and innovative system rooted in transcendent qualities, with its material manifestation existing as the peak of an island above the mind's foundation. Manipulations of human psyches have furthermore ceased, given that the lack of a falsely ordered society has abated the constrictive requirements that formerly negated cognitive liberties.
Post-apocalyptic techniques for ease of the troubled consciousness have invariably taken on a humanistic approach, and are obviously viewed as dramatic improvements over history's poor intentions. Indeed, even history's appraisal of the mad has proven to be incontestably short-sighted, as during the events which effectively ended the world, it was evidenced that only the mad were psychologically and emotionally prepared for the catastrophic events.
Techniques for maintenance of a healthy post-world consciousness are as follows:
Promoted participation in primal screaming, in order to achieve catharsis and satisfaction. Primal screaming has become an appropriate aspect of conversation, indicating that the screamer has been having a bad day.
Over-ecstatic sensual appreciation of scarce resources such as fruits and vegetables, and additionally, benevolent circumstances. It is an inherent necessity of life that we enjoy ourselves, whatever the situation or environment.
Adaption and implementation of the follies of the mad, given the truth in the expression that "the sane ones are murderers and the insane ones gather flowers." As it turns out, the end of the world freed a lot of people from their prisons of sanity.
Divine and furious dance parties.
Mandatory masturbation
Discussion and implementation of post-apocalyptic psychiatric and therapeutic techniques through an institution that functions like a decentralized democracy instead of an elite hierarchy that institutes the dominance of the specialist.
Cultivation of wonder and an openness to experience
Let it be further explicated that our techniques and philosophies are the result of the dialectic between theory and practice, further bolstered by our sincere valuation of the benefits of empiricism as they have been seen to function outside of the socio-political context of capitalist environments. Our findings have been made objective by the fact that they were not influenced by research grants, pharmaceutical lobbying, skewed drug company research, or the climate of the economy. However, it must be expressed that the most valuable aspect of post-apocalyptic psychiatry is in its acceptance of the experience of the individual above all else, as the meanings of people's lives are fundamentally and without question the very essence on which we have based our theories and practices.
Firstly, it can be illustrated through the methodology of 20th century psychiatric experiments that the dopamine hypothesis as a cause of madness and disorder is inevitably a flawed conclusion, given the circumstances in which the neurotransmitter dopamine was discovered in 1957. While working in the pharmacological laboratory, Arvid Carlsson injected prepared rabbits with amphetamines, which increased their temperament to a state of frenzy. They were given a sedation agent comparable to Thorazine, which dramatically decreased their frenetic behavior to a state of passivity. This drug reaction, instead of typically and most obviously describing the effects of foreign and man made substances on the biochemistry of the rabbit brain, were without caution cited as evidence of the neurotransmitter dopamine and furthermore erroneously cited as the source of madness in the human brain.
It must be seen currently that indeed, the human brain is a complex system that is ultimately unknowable through dubious reductionist terms. Increasingly, it has become apparent to the post-apocalyptic psychiatrist that the dopamine hypothesis was based in the diminutive philosophy of human psycho-biology functioning in mechanical terms along an overly-simplified cause and effect capacity. Furthermore, given the transmuted value of human life witnessed after the apocalypse, we have recorded in ample evidence the existence of the human mind as a complex and innovative system rooted in transcendent qualities, with its material manifestation existing as the peak of an island above the mind's foundation. Manipulations of human psyches have furthermore ceased, given that the lack of a falsely ordered society has abated the constrictive requirements that formerly negated cognitive liberties.
Post-apocalyptic techniques for ease of the troubled consciousness have invariably taken on a humanistic approach, and are obviously viewed as dramatic improvements over history's poor intentions. Indeed, even history's appraisal of the mad has proven to be incontestably short-sighted, as during the events which effectively ended the world, it was evidenced that only the mad were psychologically and emotionally prepared for the catastrophic events.
Techniques for maintenance of a healthy post-world consciousness are as follows:
Promoted participation in primal screaming, in order to achieve catharsis and satisfaction. Primal screaming has become an appropriate aspect of conversation, indicating that the screamer has been having a bad day.
Over-ecstatic sensual appreciation of scarce resources such as fruits and vegetables, and additionally, benevolent circumstances. It is an inherent necessity of life that we enjoy ourselves, whatever the situation or environment.
Adaption and implementation of the follies of the mad, given the truth in the expression that "the sane ones are murderers and the insane ones gather flowers." As it turns out, the end of the world freed a lot of people from their prisons of sanity.
Divine and furious dance parties.
Mandatory masturbation
Discussion and implementation of post-apocalyptic psychiatric and therapeutic techniques through an institution that functions like a decentralized democracy instead of an elite hierarchy that institutes the dominance of the specialist.
Cultivation of wonder and an openness to experience
Let it be further explicated that our techniques and philosophies are the result of the dialectic between theory and practice, further bolstered by our sincere valuation of the benefits of empiricism as they have been seen to function outside of the socio-political context of capitalist environments. Our findings have been made objective by the fact that they were not influenced by research grants, pharmaceutical lobbying, skewed drug company research, or the climate of the economy. However, it must be expressed that the most valuable aspect of post-apocalyptic psychiatry is in its acceptance of the experience of the individual above all else, as the meanings of people's lives are fundamentally and without question the very essence on which we have based our theories and practices.
Side Project: The Buena Vista Socially Awkward Club
Nearly everyone without exception has heard the expression that "man is a social animal." Given inherent faculties for language and expression, it would seem as if such a statement is indeed a truism, especially given the evidence of everyday life.
However, this social nature can be seen to be based in mainstream attitudes of affability which rely on quantitatively mechanical responses and can furthermore be shown to actually strangle discourse, expression, creativity, and intellect. Locutions that are representative of friendliness and ease remain as accepted and sanctioned currency in the social milieu, while relying on a poverty of meaning that maintains social functioning.
A casualty of this process is the socially awkward character, who becomes a much maligned and shunned figure, given his or her propensity for unwarranted interruptions, unacceptable sentiments, or dramatically awkward silences. Rarely invited to parties or social outings, these people may become loners who are given to a life of social frustration.
It is our hopes that in the creation of the Buena Vista Socially Awkward Club, that marginalized social figures may find an ease of expression or non-expression among a gathering of like types who beyond acting in concert as sympathetic participants, are free to actively foist their awkwardness en mass and through organized venue on the droves of socially accepted persons.
Promises and Plans of the Buena Vista Socially Awkward Club
--We will creep you out with painful silence and smile in your attempts to speak without feeling awkward yourself.
--We will blurt strange malignancies and unsolicited sentiments with a fecundity that makes normalcy appear as a plague
--We will unite our kind in revelry of the undiscovered grandeur of social awkwardness
--As our movement grows, we will coordinate actions against normal gatherings and parties with the explicit purpose of making the socially acclimated feel invariably awkward and insecure among our ranks
However, this social nature can be seen to be based in mainstream attitudes of affability which rely on quantitatively mechanical responses and can furthermore be shown to actually strangle discourse, expression, creativity, and intellect. Locutions that are representative of friendliness and ease remain as accepted and sanctioned currency in the social milieu, while relying on a poverty of meaning that maintains social functioning.
A casualty of this process is the socially awkward character, who becomes a much maligned and shunned figure, given his or her propensity for unwarranted interruptions, unacceptable sentiments, or dramatically awkward silences. Rarely invited to parties or social outings, these people may become loners who are given to a life of social frustration.
It is our hopes that in the creation of the Buena Vista Socially Awkward Club, that marginalized social figures may find an ease of expression or non-expression among a gathering of like types who beyond acting in concert as sympathetic participants, are free to actively foist their awkwardness en mass and through organized venue on the droves of socially accepted persons.
Promises and Plans of the Buena Vista Socially Awkward Club
--We will creep you out with painful silence and smile in your attempts to speak without feeling awkward yourself.
--We will blurt strange malignancies and unsolicited sentiments with a fecundity that makes normalcy appear as a plague
--We will unite our kind in revelry of the undiscovered grandeur of social awkwardness
--As our movement grows, we will coordinate actions against normal gatherings and parties with the explicit purpose of making the socially acclimated feel invariably awkward and insecure among our ranks
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